tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19230827708865877372024-02-22T22:45:39.048-08:00A Writer's HumorBarbara Eubankshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06332545677597696863noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923082770886587737.post-7965579656805403852010-02-02T07:00:00.000-08:002010-02-02T07:16:51.694-08:00Laughing with the Lord in production<em><strong>Laughing with the Lord</strong></em>, my third humorous devotional book, is in production. Actually, my editor, Amanda Reece, sent me an email today saying the conceptual editing had begun.
<br /> One might think the excitment would lessen with each book, but not so. Getting books published is like having children; Although the experience may be different with each one, there is no less anticipation.
<br /> <em><strong>Laughing with the Lord</strong></em> follows the same format as my previous books - short, true, humorous spiritually-related anecdotes, followed by a short devotion. My hope is that readers will begin their day with a laugh and some inspiration.
<br /> Soon opportunity for pre-purchasing <em><strong>Laughing with the Lord</strong></em> will be offered. As with all I do, I commit my work to the Lord, and trust Him to bless it according to his promise in Proverb 16:3.
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<br />Barbara Eubankshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06332545677597696863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923082770886587737.post-90172333527689969752009-03-30T18:31:00.000-07:002009-03-30T19:08:47.895-07:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoyjq-Q49cJ6GYJeYqfsBaQZ3ZiQtRlIwTE_XbufUST3UIhscPUD1cw-WH1aGk73nT-Q3z-HS6QustRxBFosPDvkfLY8caSjgwYR5LDTv_dMmOuBzquT6DEOCBhY-444qkdr4v-PBBKvs/s1600-h/Eman.+Val.+Banq+5.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoyjq-Q49cJ6GYJeYqfsBaQZ3ZiQtRlIwTE_XbufUST3UIhscPUD1cw-WH1aGk73nT-Q3z-HS6QustRxBFosPDvkfLY8caSjgwYR5LDTv_dMmOuBzquT6DEOCBhY-444qkdr4v-PBBKvs/s200/Eman.+Val.+Banq+5.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319167311774932898" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-xsMYKnMoKi8Re2zYCt_GT4is3_4Hi-dPT4d3t5hNUq6quMSARsP7sZIf4JG6raMu5vseAT9JcqaCi9xHeI3BoWHOEp7dVt8s4iuuuORaFyr_lc52KXlDBZmujUs_oSFJkyeAYGJF_1U/s1600-h/Eman.+Val.+Banq+with+Steve.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-xsMYKnMoKi8Re2zYCt_GT4is3_4Hi-dPT4d3t5hNUq6quMSARsP7sZIf4JG6raMu5vseAT9JcqaCi9xHeI3BoWHOEp7dVt8s4iuuuORaFyr_lc52KXlDBZmujUs_oSFJkyeAYGJF_1U/s200/Eman.+Val.+Banq+with+Steve.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319167038219441346" /></a><br />Winter to Spring<br />Each season brings its own joys and problems. Speaking engagements do also. From a great Valentine banquet to cancelled events, my schedule has gone the gamut lately.<br /><br />On Feb. 7 my husband Steve and I travelled to Tuscaloosa, Alabama, for a most unusual setting for a banquet. The event planner informed me the event would take place in a barn and the dress would be dressy denim. Not knowing exactly what to expect, I donned my jeans and dressy jacket and hoped that would suffice for dressy denim. Arriving at "the barn", I was most pleasantly surprised. It was a barn built just for receptions, banquets, and the like, sans animals. The place was beautifully decorated for a Valentines theme. A great barbecue meal had been catered. Laughter filled the barn as I brought some Christian humor mixed with spiritual inspiration. (See pictures above.)<br /><br />My next event, Prattville FBC Women's Winter Retreat, was one I'd looked forward to for a while. The setting was our Baptist Retreat Center at Shocco Springs. From my correspondence with the event planners, I could discern this was to be a great weekend. I studied and researched more than usual to bring meaningful sessions on the theme "Show Me Your Glory." Well, you know what they say about the the best laid plans---. The night before the event, I was rudely awakened by the worse stomach virus I've ever experienced. Knowing it was too late to cancel out, I loaded up on Emotrol and Imodium and accepted my sweet husband's offer to drive me. With God's help, I made each session on wobbly "spaghetti" knees. Of course, I had to make frequent, rapid trips to my room to allow the virus to do what viruses are proned to do.<br /><br />Expecting my next event to go much smoother, I eagerly anticipated a local church banquet where I had been scheduled to speak for many months. It simply wasn't meant to be. Our scheduled flight from our visit with our son in Columbia, Missouri, was cancelled because of mechanical problems. When I saw I would not be home in time to make the event, I called a friend, who is also an author and speaker, to fill in for me. Apparently God wanted to use her instead of me for that event.<br /><br />Speaking events are not exempt from the financial crunch. Two other spring events have been cancelled due to lack of funds. God knew I badly needed a rest. <br /><br />As I try to live each day according to Proverbs 3:16 - <em>Commit whatever you do to the Lord, and your plans will succeed </em>, I trust Him to put me where he wants me, so I simply refuse to fret when things fail to turn out the way I think they should, because His ways are better than mine.Barbara Eubankshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06332545677597696863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923082770886587737.post-351794219169961202008-10-04T15:03:00.000-07:002008-10-04T15:15:38.458-07:00Speaking at Dwight Baptist<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk5mkpW1rEAlurcB_8muwefr3_Gp-s-JbaZ1oA4t8WQdwXuTJzR1Oenr5RpjgiM-PZreH_OOjPO6aMjnNJRyKHkLAp-N3U1jKr1N2ABSaj7JhTc3qeUEqEQWTLSZVH0pQNj-gPMX1ZQy0/s1600-h/100_2338.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk5mkpW1rEAlurcB_8muwefr3_Gp-s-JbaZ1oA4t8WQdwXuTJzR1Oenr5RpjgiM-PZreH_OOjPO6aMjnNJRyKHkLAp-N3U1jKr1N2ABSaj7JhTc3qeUEqEQWTLSZVH0pQNj-gPMX1ZQy0/s200/100_2338.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5253424813783348210" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiNrnv6LPbe_b4hmA9cHf0_iAM2e2WLPcOstLnPY5YeBHxy83fm3atFf2NqJaulURzktOT3webJmBg6aOnubkSHCdMIJMuaw3B8BdNb5obF02nIeJG60NIGSd7EFVOUxwrNctaJg5N9dc/s1600-h/100_2335.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiNrnv6LPbe_b4hmA9cHf0_iAM2e2WLPcOstLnPY5YeBHxy83fm3atFf2NqJaulURzktOT3webJmBg6aOnubkSHCdMIJMuaw3B8BdNb5obF02nIeJG60NIGSd7EFVOUxwrNctaJg5N9dc/s200/100_2335.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5253424568450385682" /></a><br />“Are you ready to laugh on a Saturday morning?” I asked the ladies at Dwight Baptist Church when I began. Driving the twenty miles down the mountain to Gadsden, Alabama, from home, my heart sang, “This is the day the Lord has made. I will be glad and rejoice in it.” This was truly a day the rocks would have cried out in praise if we hadn’t because God had given such a beautiful, glorious fall day. The beauty of the earth moved my soul.<br /><br />And, yes, the delightful ladies at Dwight Baptist were quite ready for some humor. The day’s beauty was merely enhanced by the joy of the ladies attending their monthly brunch. They were good laughers when I shared my humorous stories; they nodded and “amened” appropriately agreeing with my serious points. One young lady asked at the book table, “Which book contains the scrotum story you told?”<br /><br />“You’ll have to wait until my third devotional book comes out for that one,” I told her.<br /><br />Many ladies lined up after my presentation to thank me for sharing with them and to buy books and let me sign them so they could take home some of the humor. Laughter, joy, and inspiration are doubled and tripled when shared.Barbara Eubankshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06332545677597696863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923082770886587737.post-66024838500477668272008-10-04T15:01:00.000-07:002008-10-04T15:03:40.596-07:00Who Am I?Who Am I?<br />“Who is this Barbara Eubanks? What does she do? What’s she about?” you might ask.<br />First of all, I am a member of a royal family – a child of the King. That being said, I attempt to live out the principle set down in Proverbs 16:3 - Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. NIV That philosophy hasn’t failed me yet.<br /><br />Presently, I fill my days telling people, through my writing and speaking, that God WANTS His children to be happy – to laugh and enjoy the blessings he provides. I begin most of my presentations exclaiming, “Rejoice, and again I say rejoice.”<br />Yes, I’m an author. I have written two humorous, yet inspiring, devotional books – Humorous Happenings in Holy Places (Tate Publishing, 2004) and And the Angels Laughed (Tate Publishing, 2005). Each of these contains 101 humorous, true anecdotes which have taken place in church or which have spiritual implications. I have chapters in two compiled books – Whispering in God’s Ear and 101 Great ways to Improve Your Life Vol. 3.<br /><br />I find humor wherever I am whether it is in church, with family, or with friends. I believe we should Remind ourselves to look for something to laugh about every day. An English proverb says, “Laughter is the best medicine.” The Bible says it a little differently: Proverbs 17:22 -A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.<br /><br />Secondly, I believe we should Remember the funny stuff when it happens. That’s why I write down these funny stories. Another way I remember is by doing the third R – Retell it. That is what I do as a Christian humorist.<br />Speaking to some seventy-five to eighty events each year, I use many of these funny accounts to formulate my presentations. In one, I remind people that a successful life is one in which you Laugh often, Love much, and Live well. In a more serious speech, I stress the importance of humor in life - well, to be truthful, I don’t do “serious” very well; I have to insert humor into these talks too. I adapt this to the group to whom I’m speaking, for instance, “The Importance of Humor in Education,” The Importance of Humor in the Family,” “The Importance of Humor in Ministry,” or perhaps “The Importance of Humor in the Medical Field.” You get the picture.<br /><br />My portfolio of writing contains many articles I’ve written for magazines, newspapers, newsletters - you name it. I now write monthly articles for two magazines – Anniston/Gadsden Christian Family Magazine and Sand Mountain Living. By the way, if you need something written or edited, I freelance also.<br />Okay, that gives you the nutshell of who I am professionally, but you can’t know all of me unless you know my family – my encouragement and inspiration. My husband is my greatest supporter, editor, and encourager. Without this man – Steve Eubanks, whom I married when I was only fifteen-years-old, - my joy and my accomplishments would be much less. “You can do it,” he’s repeated throughout our life together. “Yes, you can go to college even though we have three small children.” ( I did; I earned a B.A., M.A. and Ed.S. before it was all over.) “You can teach school.” (For thirty-five years I taught high school English.) “You can write; I know you can and somebody will publish it.” “Hey, book those speaking engagements,” he told me when calls started coming in. Not only has he been the “wind beneath my wings,” he has given me life’s greatest gifts – children.<br />By the time I was twenty, we had three beautiful, active little boys, who have brought much joy in my life. I call them my “3-S Tonic” – Steve, Scott, and Shannon. As teenage mother and father, we realized we didn’t have the wisdom to make the best decisions for their lives, so we dedicated them to the Lord and asked him to guide us in parenting them. He did. They all are very successful fathers and husbands themselves. I call their wives mine also; they are truly my daughters – Sandy, Tracy, and Donna.<br /><br />I love them for many reasons, but one stands out: they are great Christian mothers to my eight grandchildren – Zack, Alicia, Hannah, Bethany, Dane, Reagan, Austin, and Tyler. (There you go; you didn’t think I could remember all their names, did you?) Read my books and you will get to know each one because they have been one of my great humor sources. <br /><br />So, who am I and what am I about? I am a child of the King on a most joyful and happy journey as a wife, mother, grandmother, author, and speaker for now. Who knows where else God will lead me. I pray I will always be willing to follow.Barbara Eubankshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06332545677597696863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923082770886587737.post-24615903548451769942008-10-01T21:44:00.000-07:002008-10-01T21:56:42.716-07:00Recent Speaking Engagements<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuV86Y01zIPq08JhVXkWm5Mb-RU4ecNhM6fZettNDLJKhmNTuAY9b7z2NKlowuOHJ9ICmeA0joYwO4zvWwMJ2QSAk_UEOX-KqOGXiFfokUPtZvPFKsob_uItx3ZKNbVMBE68dxlh2AR6Y/s1600-h/100_2152.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuV86Y01zIPq08JhVXkWm5Mb-RU4ecNhM6fZettNDLJKhmNTuAY9b7z2NKlowuOHJ9ICmeA0joYwO4zvWwMJ2QSAk_UEOX-KqOGXiFfokUPtZvPFKsob_uItx3ZKNbVMBE68dxlh2AR6Y/s200/100_2152.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5252415028865679426" /></a>
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<br /> Barbara at Pine Grove Baptist Church
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<br />Wow! What a pleasant surprise! On Sept. 13, 2008, I traveled about three miles out of Oneonta, Alabama, to Pine Grove Missionary Baptist Church. When I entered the fellowship hall, the most creative and elaborate tablescapes filled the room, each with its own unique theme. Before I got through the door, I was introduced to several young men who had been assigned to help me bring in my books. This was first example of the attention to detail which coordinator Gail Bynum and her committee had given to make the Pine Grove Helping Hands Luncheon, honoring their senior adult ladies, an enormous success. From the musical entertainment to the explanation of table themes, the day was a delight. I was so moved by the creative table themes and the inspiration behind each, I revised my presentation on the spot. Instead of using the anecdotes in my notes, I used humorous stories which related to each of the table themes.
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<br /> The Angel Table The Fall Leaves Table
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<br />September 25, 2008 proved to be a very busy day for this Christian speaker. Because I had scheduled two events for that day, one in the morning and another in the afternoon, and because I was still taking cold medication that makes me drowsy, I asked my husband Steve to drive me that day. (He jokingly tells people his job is driving Ms. Lazy.)
<br /> In spite of being a bit under the weather myself, I intended to bring joy and encouragement to those to whom I would be speaking. I was due at Cedar Springs Senior Living facility in Decatur, Alabama, at 9:30 A.M. This necessitated leaving home by 7:30 A.M. Upon arriving, I was cordially greeted by Dale Wren, the public relations administrator, who took me to the dinning hall where I was to speak. While the residents drifted in, I conversed with those already awaiting me. They drew “first blood.” Before I ever made it to the podium, I had already been the recipient of their humor and encouragement. While I spoke, some of the residents dozed off, as seniors often do, while others laughed heartily at my funny stories and nodded in agreement with my points of inspiration. Many bought books for Christmas gifts for family members and friends.
<br /> From Decatur, Steve drove me about sixty-five miles to Nauvoo, Alabama, where Camp McDowell, an Episcopal retreat center is located. A two-day retreat called Camp Bluebird is held there each year for adult cancer patients and cancer survivors. I second-guessed the appropriateness of my normal presentation. Should I be telling funny stories to people who were in pain and enduring dark days in their lives? Then one of my favorite Bible verses came to mind – Proverbs 17:22 - A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones. With that divine inspiration, I decided to be “Dr. Laughter” for the day. Not only was I able to bring good cheer to some two-hundred people, they encouraged me with their upbeat spirits and their desire to give back. Before we left, both Steve and I had received camp Bluebird tee-shirts, a lady gave me a wrap she had crocheted, one gave me a poem about what cancer couldn’t do, and several gave me new jokes and anecdotes for future presentations. The presenter became the recipient that day.
<br />Barbara Eubankshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06332545677597696863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923082770886587737.post-52543789667681768012008-09-05T09:46:00.000-07:002008-09-05T09:47:15.349-07:00Angels, Ghosts, and Hairy CreaturesBy Barbara Eubanks<br /><br /> <br /><br /> October enters with thoughts of apple bobbing, hayrides, Halloween, and all the fall festival fun. Early on, children start planning costumes for trick-or-treating. Usually, whoever is the superhero of the day gains the attention - Superman, Spiderman, Wonder woman, Batman, and more modern ones that, I’ll admit, I know nothing about.<br /><br /> As these days draw near once again, I remember a Halloween that touched my heart. While her friends were choosing to dress like Barbie dolls, movie stars, witches, or devils, my granddaughter Bethany chose a more holy hero. She told her mom, “I want to be an angel for Halloween this year,” and that she was. Never has there been a more glorious angel than was Bethany. <br /><br /> I’ve thought of that often since then. Churches make super-heroic efforts to diffuse the evilness and hedonistic Halloween celebrations by offering safer and more religious-based events, such as Judgment Houses and trunk or treat affairs. With remembrances of the angel at Halloween, I’ve thought of another way we could Christianize this holiday. How great it would be for children, and adults for that matter, to dress as Bible figures and let people guess who they are.<br /><br /> We, in the twenty-first century, are not the first to think of disguises. Tamar masqueraded as someone else and tricked her father-in-law (Genesis 38:12-14). 1 Samuel 28: 7-25 has all the elements for a good Halloween story – ghost, dress-up, mediums, and witches. 1 Kings 14:1-5 tells of how even a queen changed her appearance to get information from a prophet. Jacob tricked his blind father into giving him his hairy brother’s blessing by wearing his brother’s clothes and goat skin on his arms (Genesis 27: 11-14.)<br /><br /> Another idea for a disguise would be very representative of what many people seem to be, as was one young lady. One day she confessed to my husband that sometimes she tried to be an angel, while at other times she lived like the devil. To illustrate this anecdote in my book, And the Angels Laughed, the illustrator drew a picture of a woman with a split spiritual personality – one half angel and the other half devil.<br /><br /> Some may feel, as my husband Steve did, about ghosts and witches. While teaching a four-year-old Sunday School class, he asked the children if they dressed in costume for Halloween. “Although some of you dressed as ghosts, witches, and goblins, we don’t really believe in ghosts and witches, do we?” he asked. <br /><br /> One little boy, looking a bit bewildered, replied, “My daddy does.”<br /><br /> “Oh, really?” Steve answered not knowing what else to say.<br /><br /> “Uh huh. He believes in the Holy Ghost.”<br /><br /> Relieved, Steve told him, “Well, I believe in that one too.”<br /><br /> May we all believe in and honor the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost by placing them first on our priority list for Halloween. May we find ways to celebrate the holiday which would bring honor to God.Barbara Eubankshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06332545677597696863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923082770886587737.post-14063138369143484672008-08-18T10:55:00.000-07:002008-08-18T11:08:03.368-07:00My Two-Foot WorldRebecca Grace Jenkins participated in the writing lesson I recently led at Marshall Christian Academy. Here is her draft of "My Two-Foot World." <br /><br /> "My two-foot world, let me tell you about it. There are flowers everywhere. The one that caught my eye was a buttercup flower that smells like a lemon. It was curved like a circle. The grass was green like brocolli.<br /> I loved the way the wind would hit my hair. Something else was in my hair - bugs. EWWW! Some bugs would bite; sp,e wpi;d crawl; it was nasty.<br /> Then when I sat down on the grass, it felt like a pillow. It felt so good. I wanted to take a nap. Guess what was keeping me from my nap - a little june bug, a little bug that made HUGE bug bites on me. It hurt so bad!<br /> I wonder if your two-foot world was better than mine.Barbara Eubankshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06332545677597696863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923082770886587737.post-84056353751085715462008-08-02T12:49:00.000-07:002008-12-10T18:25:50.168-08:00An Unusual Event<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9tPg1b8luOpilpqYD5aDzH4pRpM07NbJ0tU0uQxYd-Z4-pqPCb0bCwkAG4iwIf4794FYmquPXaKzHTrpBuknUhbniTdAws8TZNo9Yb3DRMiCgXnCBstkepA4L6Hpjrhhjp09-22bWJoE/s1600-h/IMG00010.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9tPg1b8luOpilpqYD5aDzH4pRpM07NbJ0tU0uQxYd-Z4-pqPCb0bCwkAG4iwIf4794FYmquPXaKzHTrpBuknUhbniTdAws8TZNo9Yb3DRMiCgXnCBstkepA4L6Hpjrhhjp09-22bWJoE/s320/IMG00010.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5230018360462006674" /></a><br /> Often I speak to senior adults, sometimes to ladies'groups, but it has been a while since I have spoken to a group of children. I was invited to speak to a group at Marshall Christian Academy July 31,2008, or rather to guide them in a writing assignment.<br /> I pulled out an old favorite from my teaching days - "My Two-Foot World." When I arrived, I found aquite diverse class or audience - Anglos, Mexicans, and one student from Russia, ranging in age from four to thirteen. Hmmm, I thought, what a challenge. Their teacher, Manda Jenkins, and I grouped the ones too young to actually write with and older partner. I told the little ones they were to be eyes and ears for the others.<br /> I instructed the students to find a grassy spot to sit in. Then they were to imagine the two feet around them was their world. Next, they were to observe what they saw, heard, and felt in their own little world. I reminded them their world had a floor, the ground, and a ceiling, the sky. I coached them to notice shapes, contrast of colors, soft sounds, loud sounds, and to be aware of what they felt. I provided a worksheet for their prewriting. <br /> About fifteen minutes in the sun was enough for me, so we moved inside for the actual writing. They older ones really got a handle on the assignmentand wrote well, but the younger ones settled for drawing a picture of what they saw. We discovered a few really talented artist among the group.<br /> Whether the assignment was above most their heads or not, hopefully each student was made aware of how complex and intricate God's creations are.Barbara Eubankshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06332545677597696863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923082770886587737.post-14947564358160213572008-07-12T18:13:00.000-07:002008-07-12T18:17:26.564-07:00‘Boy, Them Ain’t Cantaloupes’This summer has been filled with changes. First, after celebrating our fiftieth wedding anniversary June 19th, Steve and I began our second half-century together. Thankfully, as I have become, shall we say, less youthful, God has blessed by dimming Steve’s vision. He thinks I look better now than when he married me. Please don’t tell him any different.<br /> Secondly, after my dad has lived independently and/or semi-independently for his ninety-eight years, time has come when he needs twenty-four hour supervision. He now resides in an assisted living facility. He says he’s happy there, and truly seems to be – until the staff asks him to do something. The stubborn mule syndrome seems to surface then.<br /> But to cap the stack, I seem to have become a porn star. Now let me explain that one. I have two great horses. Some might call them plugs, but I’ve cherished them because they are so good with my grandchildren. All of them have fed them bread, watermelon, cantaloupe, apples, or whatever over the fence. I’ve taught the children how to hold the food in their hands in a position to avoid the horses biting them accidentally. From the time they could sit astride the horses, they have. Very gently, knowing they were carrying a precious load, the horses would follow me circling the yard, and the children would think they were in complete control because they held the reins.<br /> With that said, I will tell you, I’ve always respected the strength and size of these equines. I do now even more. My brother-in-law and his wife brought out their visiting granddaughters for a swim and for them to see the horses. I gave them hotdog buns to feed Smoky and Sisco. Kathryn, the oldest sister, came in to report Elizabeth, the younger, was exciting the horses with her squealing. I thought nothing of it because, as I said, they are gentle animals. But to be on the safe side, we adults moved outside to supervise.<br /> I had dressed earlier in the day for another event in a shimmery light orange shell and lime green pants. As I do so often, I walked over to the fence with the girls to pet Smoky and Sisco. In my normal natural motion, I reached up with my right hand to pet Sisco’s head. Well, that’s when disaster, or should I say, ‘disboobster’ struck. Before I knew what had happened, Sisco reached over the fence, grabbed my left breast with his teeth, picked my ample body off the ground, shook me, and threw me backwards. He must have seen the orange and thought it was a cantaloupe. Pain! That was all I could sense at the moment. My thought was, “Boy, ‘them ain’t’ cantaloupes.”<br /> Elizabeth was crying because she felt responsible, I was holding my breast trying not to let anyone know how badly it hurt, and those around were picking me up from my graceful fall. I refused to go to the emergency room. I said, “What can they do that we can’t here for a deep bruise and a scratch – except laugh.” After icing my injury and taking Advil, I managed to keep tears at bay until our guests left.<br /> Then my husband Steve made a call to our surgeon son Steve Jr., who is Chief of surgery at University of Missouri. “Your mother is injured bad and is in a great deal of pain,” he reported and recounted the incident. “We found an old bottle of pain medicine from a dental procedure several years ago and wondered if it would be okay for her to take it.”<br /> Coincidentally, Lucien Newman III, from Gadsden, our son’s friend and my surgeon, was sitting across the table from each other eating dinner at the time. Dr. Newman told Steve I might want to come to his office to let him check out the injury the next afternoon when he would be back in the office. I did. <br />Apparently, the sight of this black boob was shocking even to him and his nurse. She covered her mouth and winced as she felt my pain; Dr. Newman suggested he make a picture with his cell phone and send it to my son in Missouri. I agreed, but I told him, now I’ll never be able to run for President because nude pictures of me are floating in the airwaves.<br />As I said in the beginning, this summer has been one of change. My Technicolor boob may well be the greatest change of all.Barbara Eubankshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06332545677597696863noreply@blogger.com1